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Movie Review: Jonah Hex (June, 2010)

Director: Jimmy Hayward
Screenplay: Mark Neveldine, myocarditis Brian Taylor
Release Date: June 18, 2010
Actors: Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Megan Fox, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Michael Fassbender
Based on the comic book character of ‘Jonah Hex’

Site Update: I’m falling further and further behind on my reviews. But, having returned from vacation recently, and being dried of any movie watching, I’m hoping to be back on the ball. I forget to also review old movies I’ve seen recently.

Onto Jonah Hex. I saw the Jonah Hex preview at the Warner Brothers panel when they were at Comic-con last year, in which it debuted to a fairly lukewarm audience. At the time I was disgusted by the number of useless and not very interesting questions directed at Megan Fox, and nothing really about the comic or the movie itself. What little I did see of the previews (and they were not even very clear as to what Jonah Hex was to be about) I was not very impressed.

Because of this, and all the not-so-very-interesting trailers of the movie, my expectations going into the film were very low. Usually, when I have low expectations going into a film, I’m usually pleasantly surprised. Not so here.

So, what is the story about? Jonah Hex is based on the DC Comics of the same name. Without having read the comic, Jonah Hex is a bounty hunter, an anti-hero, that protects and avenges the innocent. Due to a disagreement of whether or not to take a course of action that to him, was immorally wrong, Jonah kills his best friend Jeb Turnbull, which in turn, makes Jeb’s father Quentin (who was a general at the time) very angry. Quentin takes it upon himself to kill Jonah’s family and kills them in front of Jonah. Years pass, and Quentin supposedly dies. Jonah, after years of acting under his own rules, is hired by the US government to track down and kill Quentin, who is now found to be alive and also a terrorist to the USA. Jonah, happy to take revenge for his family, attempts to track down Quentin.

Because Jonah Hex is based on a comic, there are a few liberties that the film takes that brings the story out of reality into fantasy. The plot is not well fleshed out, and even though there are a few funny wry one liners delivered by Josh Brolin, it was not enough to interest me or even care. As a revenge film, it is very weak. Two better ones come immediately to mind. The recent Edge of Darkness, and my all time favorite revenge film – Oldboy. Next to Oldboy, Jonah Hex is a deflated balloon, lifeless, buoyed by … nothing. Not even the likes of Jeffrey Dean Morgan or John Malkovich could save this script. The chemistry between Megan Fox and Josh Brolin seemed non existant, and though Megan Fox’s character was brought in to establish that Jonah did indeed care about someone, one scene does not make the relationship between the two characters believable.

The story could have been more more dramatic, or, more stylistic if that was what they were aiming for with the dry one line humor. Instead, they majorly failed. I would avoid this movie and wait for a Netflix download if you really are wanting to see this. The biggest problem here, is the screenplay. Even with the best actors, Jonah Hex would have fallen flat. The script is unbelievable, none of the characters are relatable. It’s hard to feel for Jonah Hex’s predicament when we barely know anything about him. Yes, it sucks that his wife and child are killed, but besides the normal reaction to human pain, why should we care about HIM? Due to this major problem, an 80 minute movie felt almost two times long.

As such, I will not recommend the movie, unless you have to catch Megan Fox scantily clad in her tight Barbie fitting attire (and I must say, I was flabbergasted at how hourglass like her figure is, with her waist looking like it was 13 inches in one of the scenes). I was also pleased to see the cameos done by the seemingly-always-likes-to-play-dead characters Jeffrey Dean Morgan (Denny from Greys Anatomy, Clay from the Losers) and Lance Reddick (Agent Broyles from the excellent Fox series Fringe), but disappointed at the same time that it was for such an awful movie.

Avoid. 1 terroristas / 5 terroristas

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