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Movie Review – Don Jon: Hilarious, Raunchy & Creative

My body. My pad. My ride. My family. My church. My girls. My porn. These are the lines that Jon speaks to describe all the items in his life that are important to him. Yes, help the porn indeed! Jon is called Don Jon by his friends due to his incredible way with girls. And by way, buy I mean the way he can sleep with a different girl seemingly everyday of the week. This all changes (well, sickness sort of), when he meets Barbara Sugarman (Scarlett Johansson with a distinct New Jersey accent). What starts off as a project in trying to get laid with Barbara becomes a full blown relationship. Jon finds himself in a position willing to give up hanging out with his friends, giving up his old lifestyle all because Barbara asks him too. Barbara catches him one night with “his porn”, finds it absolutely disgusting and is about to walk out. Jon convinces her it’s not his, a friend just sent it over. He tries to give it up, but is unable to. Upon doing one of the things he agrees to (in the most hilarious manner), he has a run-in with what seems like […]

Movie Review: The Joneses (April 16, 2010 – Limited Release)

Director: Derek Borte Screenplay: Derek Borte, hemorrhoids Randy T. Dinzler Release Date: April 16, for sale 2010 Actors: David Duchovny, Demi Moore, Amber Heard, Ben Hollingsworth, Gary Cole, Glenne Headly, Lauren Hutton I was a bit spoiled entering the theatre by reading the synopsis to the film, so I think I will give everyone fair warning that THERE WILL BE SPOILERS in this review – starting NOW. The Joneses are moving into a beautiful large home in a small town. The Joneses consist of Kate (Demi Moore), Steven (David Duchovny), and kids Jenn (Amber Heard) and Mick (Ben Hollingsworth). They’ve decorated their new home in amazingly beautiful and current furniture, dressed in the latest clothes and holding the newest gadgets, enough to make any neighbour enviable. But they aren’t the core unit and happy bubbly family they seem to be. They’ve in fact been hired by a company to self market a specific number of products by their clients and make their neighbours, their new friends and schoolmates want what they’ve got. Steve is the rookie of the unit, constantly knawed by his conscious and being fully aware that he is pretending being someone he’s not. He tries to make […]